kaleidoscope

FLATTERERS VERSUS LIFTERS

2011-10-30T12:49:00.005+08:00

I always find it uncomfortable when people I know give me flattery or compliments.

"Wow! That was great. How did you do that?"

"You are such a nice and caring person."

"You have great ideas in mind."

Most of the time, my initial reactions are to smile, say thanks and stay away.

It must be my paranoid self talking, or better yet my experience proves otherwise. So many times I have met people who are very good in expressing words that can really boost the ego, but eventually frustration sets in when I begin to notice that they feed others such good words because of their selfish ulterior motives. Once I begin to sense this, I always step back and draw a demarcation line.

I got burned not once, not twice, but many times in allowing this kind of people enter my personal space. I don't want to feel like a trash again that when I can no longer be of use, I can be easily disposed. It is sad but true, there are people who will befriend others for their own personal gain. I call them 'flatterers' because of their 'flat' and insincere words that are so deceiving.

However, I don't want to generalise people because it is unfair. There are people who give compliments because they really appreciate others with utmost sincerity. They are the people I call 'lifters' because they can inspire others to do better... they can make others feel important... they can make others feel secured. They have no hidden agenda in their complimenting actions because they just love others for who they are with no strings attached.

Now, how do we know a 'flatterer' from a 'lifter'?

Try to read the fable and focus on the character of the fox.

THE FOX AND THE CROW

One day, a hungry fox saw a crow sitting on branch of a tree with a piece of cheese in its beak.

“You are the prettiest crow I have ever seen,” said the fox.

“I wish you would sing a song. A bird with lonely feathers always has a sweet voice, and it is a very long time since I heard any fine music.”

The silly crow was so proud at being asked to sing that she opened her mouth to sing, and the piece of cheese fell to the ground. The clever fox snapped it up and said to himself as he walked away, “I said she was beautiful but I did not say she was wise.”

source: Aesop’s Fable

What characteristics can you see from the fox? Isn't the fox an epitome of a flatterer? Now, here's the catch:

'Flatterers' have a very charismatic personality. They are lovable. They are friendly. Once they give you attention, you cannot resist because there is something in them that makes you like and adore them. You will really feel good when you are with them. But then again, this show of flattery never lasts because it is never genuine in the first place.

'Flatterers' leave once they get what they want and then move on to the next target. They are like parasites leaving the host feeling drained and useless.

On the other hand, 'Lifters' are those who keep on believing in others despite shortcomings and imperfections. They do the gestures not for themselves but for others to believe in themselves as well. They don't mind the tiny specs on the canvass, but see the whole painting as a whole and appreciate it.

It takes time and circumstances to know a flatterer from a lifter. So, we should be keen in dealing with others and making friends.

That's life and life's like that.

ALWAYS REMEMBER...

2011-05-19T10:38:00.002+08:00

Most of the time when we are faced with troubles, we tend to whine and feel self pity. But have we forgotten that in life we do not only experience the trying times but also the best of times?

When we feel disheartened by the trials we are experiencing at the moment, be inspired by the triumphs we have hurdled. We have to remember that it is not all about the bad situation we are in, it is also about how we deal with it matters more.
When we have a balance perspective, then we can understand better.

A poem by Amanda Bradley

FORGET about the days when it has been cloudy,
But don’t forget your hours in the sun.
FORGET about the times you’ve been defeated,
But don’t forget the victories you’ve won.
FORGET about the mistakes that you can’t change now,
But don’t forget the lessons you’ve learned.
FORGET about the misfortunes you’ve encountered,
But don’t forget the times your luck has turned.
FORGET about the days when you’ve been lonely,
But don’t forget the friendly smiles you’ve seen.
FORGET about the plans that didn’t seem to work out right,
Source: Sparks of Wisdom for All Ages.
But don’t forget to always have a dream.

source: Sparks of Wisdom for All Ages

WALLS

2011-04-15T20:48:00.003+08:00

I build walls:
Walls that protect,
Walls that shield,
Walls that say I shall not yield
Or reveal
Who I am or how I feel.

I build walls:
Walls that hide,
Walls that cover what’s inside,
Walls that stare or smile or look away,
Silent lies,
Walls that even block my eyes
From the tears I might have cried.

I build walls:
Walls that never let me
Truly touch
Those I love so very much.
Walls that need to fall!
Walls meant to be fortresses
Are prisons after all.

- Anonymous

In this poem, the walls are not made of bricks or stones or anything physical. The author uses “walls” as a metaphor... a symbolism of a coping mechanism that we humans project in order not to get hurt.

As I was going through the poem for the second time, questions flashed and reflection followed. It is not my intent to share in details my realisations, but I want to share the questions that popped in my mind. Those questions that led me to a deep sense of personal introspection.

Why would someone build “walls” around his or her feelings?

Do you, or others you know, ever build such “walls”?

Does the narrator believe that it’s always a good idea to have these “walls”? How do you know?

Do you think that there are times when we need to “build walls”?

THE RESURGENCE OF...

2011-04-13T21:24:00.012+08:00

Britney Spears...
She is a pop icon of the late 90s.
Who wouldn't remember her and her songs: Baby One More Time, Oops... I did it again and the likes. To date, she is still one of the best-selling pop singing stars in the history of contemporary music. She has sold gazillion albums and still counting, I guess.

I am no big fan of Britney, but looking at her persona, I must not deny the fact that she is an image to reckon with...

Her life is an open book. From her emergence to stardom to her scandalous and troubled life that came afterwards... and now, her resurgence to hold her grip on her stature in the music arena.

Recently, she released an album: Femme Fatale, which debuted at number one in the Billboard charts making her the first female to have six number one album debuts. (source:http://www.britneyspears.com). That is a feat to beat, don't you think so?

I already got a glimpse of her single, 'Till the World Ends' and it is making a statement. A statement that says, 'I'm back!'

Looking at her performance, I noticed that it is now different in a way. She somehow lost the power and stamina of her youth. Her signature moves in her music videos are still there, but they are not as dynamic as before. Let us just say it is called the passing of the youth. Her vocals are still the same. Listening to her makes me say, she's like Paula Abdul and Madonna, they are better dancers than singers. I am not trying to be critical about her but let us be honest that there are many singers out there better than her vocal pipes.

Again, I am not a big fan of Britney, but it is about her life that interests me. Her rise from her soon-to-be-dead career reminds me that:

All of us inevitably go through life's ups and downs, it is normal, but, when we fall big time, we are all given a chance to reclaim ourselves and be back standing with our own two feet.

All of us are not exempted from failures, but when we have the right people around us who can support us... love us... risk for us... then we can all stage a fiery comeback, just like Britney.

In the end, we can always say, "Nothing can put a good man down."

source:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywQDCnJUyvw

ESCAPE

2011-04-02T22:34:00.006+08:00

All living things struggle to survive. In doing so, they have developed characteristics that help them to stay alive.

One of the defense mechanisms among animals is the speedy escape. Sometimes the best way to keep out of danger is to be away from an environment that can harm them. Fish swim fast, birds flap their wings to fly away,horses and four legged creatures run when they sense a potential threat.

Humans, being living creatures that they are, do have their way of escape.

When the responsibility is too much and they can no longer handle the situation or the tasks at hand, there are people who escape and figuratively evaporate into thin air.

When serious problems occur, there are people who divert their focus. They resort to eating, sleeping, drinking and even fooling around. Anything would do as long as they free their minds from the grueling experience that trials bring.

There are those who just pretend that everything is ok even though it is not.Sometimes when they are in pain, they put on masks.They think and hope that problems will just pass by and eventually leave them.

There are times when the situation can hurt them, they move to a safer sanctuary. There are times when others can possibly hurt them, they become distant and cold.

Escape as a way of survival can save one's life, but there will be times they will fall, get hurt, and get caught. There will be times they can escape and survive for a day but still the cycle of running away continues. There will be times they can no longer hide the hurt so they easily break down and shatter into pieces.

There will really come a time that there will be no place to run and the best solution to do is face the threat, the situation and the fear.This will require enormous courage, but somebody has to do what he has got to do. It's all in the name of survival.

ON BEING LONELY

2011-03-25T01:29:00.004+08:00

An ex-student / friend of mine shared a quote he got from a movie and it says,

"So I have this one question,

if we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it one day when we are separated?

And if being separated is a part of life and you know about separation, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?

At the same time, I was also wondering, is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone?

That's my loneliness. I have lived with it now for many years.

I know just how bad loneliness feels, I fear it will continue to get worse.."

- from the movie Love of Siam

Sometimes our fears once we don't face them become so huge and powerful that they can make us feel terrified to take actions and risks. And once fears engulf us, the result is loneliness

... because we missed our chance.

... because we already lost without even giving a fight.

... because we felt inferior, lost and incapacitated.

... because we accepted that we are not worthy.

ON PAIN AND HARDSHIPS

2011-02-07T10:42:00.007+08:00

It is inevitable for us not to experience pain and hardships. No one can even claim being struggle-free. The intensity may vary, but it is still the same.

Some people avoid pain and who doesn't...

Some people so love it that they have turned themselves into a masochist...

Some people embrace pain because they believe that there is something to be learned from the experience. And I am like these people.

What do we get from embracing pain, then?

Of course, nobody wants to get hurt. But, think about these words from experience:

- Sometimes our visions become clearer after our eyes are washed with tears.

- Sometimes we have to be broken so that we can be whole again.

- No pain, no gain.

- Sometimes it is better to have risked and lost. At least, you will have something to strive for the next time.

- The darkest time of the night is when it is near dawn.

- Challenges make you stronger... wiser... and better.

- Life is sweeter when you have worked hard for something... You can really enjoy the fruits of your labour.

So, I want to thank the pains of the past...

to continue battle with the present pains...

and to future pains... bring it on!

UNDERSTANDING THE PARADOX

2011-02-01T22:41:00.005+08:00

Human behaviour is so complex that is why people can be misinterpreted in many different ways and instances. But one thing is for sure: Don't be misled by what the eyes can see... There is always something deep down, a hidden message we all should try to decipher when interacting with others we have just met or with people we are interested to know and most especially with friends and significant others.

There is one reminder that I always consider: IT IS THE OPPOSITE.

Again, it may be true to others but NOT to ALL. Just a disclaimer because I don't want to make a sweeping generalisation.

Here it goes:

When someone says OK, it doesn't mean he/she appreciates. Maybe he/she is just trying to be polite.

When someone says "I'm fine.", it doesn't mean that the person is in a good condition. Maybe he/she doesn't want to elaborate on his/her situation, or maybe he/she is not ready to share his/her thoughts and feelings, or it could be a way of saying, "Don't bother. Mind your own business."

When someone smiles at you, it doesn't mean the person likes you. Maybe he/she is just being friendly or just trying to fit in.

When someone talks to you, it doesn't mean he/she enjoys your company. Maybe he/she has no one else to talk to and is left with no other option to do.

When someone listens to you, it doesn't mean he/she is interested with what you are saying. It could be the person is just respectful and not being rude.

When someone doesn't talk to you, it doesn't mean the person is angry. Maybe he/she wants to think and see things clearly.

When someone keeps his/her distance, it doesn't mean the person dislikes you. Maybe the person is just afraid of rejection from you.

When a person says NO, it could be a YES.

When a person smirks, it could be smiles.

When a person laughs, it could be cries.

When a person hates, it could be love.

Yes, there are people like that. Because not everything we say should be literally understood.

Learn to read between lines... Listen beyond words... Look beyond appearance.
You will see, you will begin to understand more.

Sometimes, the real meaning is the paradox.

MONEY BUYS EVERYTHING

2010-05-17T19:45:00.002+08:00

In this highly commercialized world we live in today, nothing comes free. From the food that we eat, house we stay in, good health we long for, people we keep, popularity and power we desire, justice we seek and even the happiness in life we search for, there is always a tag price that goes with whatever we need and want in life. Name it, and there is an equivalent money sign.

I know many people will disagree because they think that there are things money can’t buy. For example, money cannot buy love, happiness and all those abstract ideas. But, I am very sorry, I prefer to disagree. Just like what I said, nowadays everything has an equivalent money sign. Everything can be bought. As long as we have those wads of dollars to wave and spend, we can have everything.

Allow me to shed light especially on clichés that we hear from others about money:

MONEY CANNOT BUY SLEEP: THIS IS NOT TRUE

Now, I say there are sleeping pills to give you the amount of sleep you need to keep you going. No matter how intense your insomnia is, there is a corresponding dosage to knock you off to sleep. These pills are available when you buy them at drug stores together with a prescription which you get from seeing a shrink. There you already have the sleep you need.

MONEY CANNOT BUY HAPPINESS: THIS IS NOT TRUE

Actually you can. When you have money, people love and like you. They surround you, pamper you and do your bidding. You can buy those things that can please you. Some will say it is only temporary. But let me ask you: Is there such a thing as a perfect and constant happiness? Nada! Even if money can afford a split second bliss, at least you can say, you tasted happiness.

MONEY CANNOT BUY PEACE OF MIND: THIS IS NOT

Do you know that there are many cases of stress caused by financial stability. In the household, in the community and in the world, once you have the power to purchase, you are most likely to enjoy the benefits of what life has to offer and that you will have a stress-free mind. Try talking to a person who earns a very meager income and who just survives each day to make a living then perhaps you will be enlightened.

Let us just admit, having adequate sum of money makes our existence and daily living convenient and comfortable. This is a truth we cannot deny. Money may have its negative mark , but it does make life easier to bear. What do you think?

THE MASKS WE WEAR

2010-04-06T09:50:00.004+08:00

It has always been my guiding principle in life that there is more to what we can see on the surface. This has helped me a lot so as not to be judgmental over others. This has made me break in my mind the social stereotypes that our society has dictated ever since the world began.

Whenever I see people from close and afar, I am reminded by the poem which I usually share to my friends especially during "Getting to know myself and others" sessions. It is a good reminder for us to REGAIN the SENSITIVITY, the human TOUCH, the COMPASSION we are constantly losing because of the emotional pollutants the present world has.

THE MASKS I WEAR

Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks. Masks that I’m afraid to take off, and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art, that’s second nature to me. But don’t be foled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure… that confidence is my name and coolness is my game… that the water’s calm and I’m in command… and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me! My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever varyiong and ever concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That’s why I franctically create a mask to hide behind.
A nonchalant sophisticated façade, to help me pretend… to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only hope, and I know it.

an excerpt...

REAL BEAUTY

2010-02-26T03:39:00.004+08:00

There is a story I once read about a painter who found a magic that enabled him to sketch into life a world he so longed for. He painted the most beautiful scenery he had in his imagination which was almost like heaven. As part of the magic, he could make himself and whoever he wished to dwell in his painted canvass.

One day, he invited his beloved to stay and live with him in this heavenly place he created for the two of them. He told her that they could stay there forever and be happy. His beloved accepted his invitation. After sometime, his beloved felt sad and displeased so he asked, “My love, are you not happy with all the wonderful things around us?”

His beloved replied, “At first, I felt bliss. But no matter how beautiful this is, it is still not real.”

Sometimes we can make great things happen and then succeed in getting what we want:

We can have more than the basic needs in life.
We can acquire a great amount of wealth.
We can get hold of those that fancy our sight.
We can taste the most delectable menu on the table.
We can wear the most expensive clothes.

But still there will come a point that we will feel something is missing and nothing seems to matter.

Is it human insatiability? I guess not. Perhaps it is because living in a perfect world diminishes what reality is.

We may have all the riches in the world, but these could be meaningless if we are the only one enjoying them. That is why when we do an act of charity and generosity to the less fortunate ones, we feel a sense of ecstatic feeling and relief that even the strongest amphetamine could not equal.

We may have all the expensive possessions in the world, but these could be useless if we have not worked hard to get them. That is why when we do an act of labor and sacrifice to whatever goal we have, we feel a sense of great accomplishment. We begin to value the experience and the tangible prize that signifies it.

We all can weave in our imagination a perfect world we dream of and make it real in life. But if we don’t exert a great deal of effort in achieving it, then it is nothing. If we don’t have people to share it with, then it is useless.

From this angle, we can all say that real beauty is not defined by the eyes, but by the heart that feels its essence.

HEARING BEYOND WORDS

2010-02-03T14:28:00.005+08:00

Here is a quote worth pondering on:

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.
– Peter E. Drucha

I want to rephrase the quote and it goes like this:

It is most important in communication to understand what others are trying to tell us with out them having to say the message right in front of our faces.

Not all people are candid and truthful of whatever they have in their minds. They have their reasons. One of the reasons is the fear of hurting others should they let their true opinions and feelings. So they resort to standard answers and remarks that may somehow put icing on whatever is the truth. Another reason is the lack of interest to argue because it is a part of a normal discourse that when you negate someone then rebuttal follows... and there are just people who are not interested in debating and arguing.Sometimes the reason is just plain: They don't care...

Think of these situations:

The cook asks you how good his food is and honestly you don't like the taste of the food. What would you say? If your answer is, "It's fine"... "It's OK"... "Nice one!" There you have just made a very standard remark.

Standard remarks or reactions that are cliche are most likely given not to hurt the feelings of others. They sound good but they mean nothing.

Another instance, Your friend tells you that he believes in ghosts and ethereal bodies. Deep inside you, you don't believe such things exist. What would you say? If your answer is, "Maybe you're right, maybe there is." Now, you have just neutralise the heat of the argument.

Neutralised remarks could mean that the person is not interested to disagree and just let the other person express his opinions.

Another one is when a friend tells you about her never ending love story which you have heard a thousand times. Then she asks you, "What do you think?" If your reaction is "OK" and you change the topic then more often than not, you are trying to avoid that the story would go further.

Changing the topic while in a conversation clearly points that the person doesn't want to elaborate much and doesn't want to dwell on that. If your friend is sensitive enough then she would sense about your true stand on the situation.

Not everything we hear should be taken literally or as is. There should be a dose of sensitivity inside us that we should get in touch with to learn the art of comprehending the implied messages of other people.

2010: SOMETHING TO START WITH...

2010-01-09T20:46:00.004+08:00

Whenever New Year comes, I make myself busy doing chores like cleaning my room and rearranging almost anything. I like the taste of change. This makes me feel good and think of great possibilities to come. It’s like feeling refreshed to start anew.

This year not only my room needs a make over but my personal life as well. This time, I want to focus on the past instead of the usual future. I know that there are things from the past that I need to reconnect with so that I know where I am headed in the future.

This year I vow to...

REKINDLE TIES

For more than half a decade, I have failed to get in touch with many people who in some way have become a part of my personal circle. There are many reasons and excuses that I can enumerate, but now is not the time to rationalize for not being around. I want to know how they have been for the past years. I know that there will be a lot of good old stories to tell and new stories to update.
I can’t wait to meet them again.

HEAL WOUNDS

I want to make amends to those people whom I have wronged, hurt and caused pain. I want to embrace them and ask for forgiveness. And for those who have scarred me, I want to come face to face with them and say thank you for whatever it was that they have done, it made me a stronger and better person. I want to patch things up to lighten the burden and let go of the unwanted baggages.
I can’t wait to smile with them.

RECAPTURE THE PAST

I want to go back to the time when happiness abounds. I want to be a kid again. Of course, it is not something possible in reality, but bringing back the child in me will make me enjoy the simple blessings that I have at the moment. As I grow in years, I notice that I tend to become more critical, hard to please and discontented. I want to revive the child in me so that life won’t be that complicated.
I can't wait to have fun again.

I still want to do more for this year, but let me take it slowly.I cannot do a lot of things at one time so I will take these steps one at a time. .. I am hopeful I will get there and eventually before this year ends, I will finally move forward to a better future.

on closure

2009-11-23T09:42:00.004+08:00

A wise man said, “When you come to the last page, close the book.”
- Uncle Wu (character from the movie: Welcome back, Herbie. The Love Bug)

Once you have reached the last page of a book, it is but natural to close it since there is nothing left to read. Literally, that’s how it goes. If it is the end, it is the end.

Sometimes it is true in life. There are things we have to accept that it is really the end and we have to put a closure to it. Otherwise, it will be left hanging in the open.

What needs closure?

1. Past mistakes

I have not seen someone who is totally perfect because we all have flaws. We make mistakes because we are inexperienced, easily moved by our emotions, careless, unprepared and too confident. Then, it’s too late to make things right because the damage is done. If we keep it hanging, we will begin to think we are losers. Sometimes we just have to accept that we can no longer rewind the situation and the best way to end the self pity is to accept the truth that we are not perfect, but we can still make amends for whatever damage we have created. There is a saying, “To err is human… to forgive is divine.”

We should put closure on our past mistakes and accept the lessons learnt.

2. Unhealthy Relationships.

When does a relationship become unhealthy? It is when we are not reciprocated. It is when there are many people getting affected and hurt. It is when we feel that we are stagnant and no longer growing. It is when a relationship brings more pain than joy.

We should put closure on unhealthy relationships and learn to let go.

3. Conflicts

Why is peace difficult to find? It is mainly because we grow pains and anger deep within. We breathe in hatred as part of our existence.Yes, it is difficult not to be angry, but is more difficult to make amends because of pride.If we can only forgive little by little then conflicts will start to diminish and will no longer dwell in our hearts. If only...

We should put closure on conflicts and try to forgive.

I am not a wise man, but this is what I have to say, “Once you close the book, you can either keep it or throw it.”

on remembering...

2009-11-15T20:42:00.005+08:00

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
- taken from Veenah's wall in facebook

This is not the first time I have read this quote. But, a friend of mine reminded me of this beautiful statement.

PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID...

As a teacher, this is true that after sometime, my students will no longer remember all those lessons I had with them in the class.
Do you want proof? Think about this:
Nobody will really get a perfect score in an unannounced Final Exam.

And sometimes I myself also forget those that I've mentioned in class.After some years,what is left in me are those kind gestures and pleasant moments I experienced with my students.

PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU DID...

Again, this is true. As a friend, I sometimes feel that there are many people who are suffering from amnesia. They easily forget those things other people have done for them once you have done something wrong.Sometimes it only takes one mistake to erase a hundred good deeds. I am sorry but I want to generalise that most people have a very short memory span.

BUT THEY WILL NEVER FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL...

I think the heart has a bigger storage than the brain. because , it is difficult to forget those who hurt us... it is difficult to forget who made us feel loved... it is difficult to forget those we loved... it is difficult to forget those who made us happy... it is difficult to forget those who made us sad and angry... and the list goes on.

The words and pictures in memory may fade away but the feelings remain. That is why it takes a lifetime to forgive, it takes a lot of effort to let go, it takes a lot of years to heal.

top of the world

2009-11-12T10:14:00.005+08:00

On being happy...

Have you experienced feeling light and naturally ecstatic?
It is never once or twice, but many times you have experienced it one way or another , and of course with varying degree.
It is when things are smooth sailing and there is no room left for sadness. There's no doubt that when there's happiness in life, you are like in cloud nine.

The sources of happiness...

May it be external or internal, happiness comes from varied sources:

Sometimes people are happy because their friends are innately funny.

Sometimes a warm greeting even from a stranger can make another person smile.

Most of the time people are happy because of power, health and wealth.Do you agree?

There are times people are not aware they are happy because they are always surrounded by people who love and care for them.

There are people who lend a helping hand just for them to feel good about themselves.
I know there are a thousand and one reasons, but whatever the roots of this state of happiness are, still the feeling is just the same... you are like on top of the world.

Do you still remember this song?

TOP OF THE WORLD
The Carpenters

Such a feeling’s coming over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won’t be surprised if it’s a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear, It’s because you are here
You’re the nearest thing to heaven that I’ve seen

I’m on the top of the world looking
Down on the creation and the only explanation
I can find is the love that I’ve found
Ever since you’ve been around
Your love’s put me at the top of the world

where is the heart?

2009-11-04T09:48:00.007+08:00

The other day I told my friend that my left chest was experiencing a bit of pain. He advised me to have an immediate check up as it could be a sign of a grave health condition.

Then, blah... blah... blah...

Out of nowhere, we had this argument as to where the human heart is.I claimed it was in the mid part of the body. He said it was in the left part. I was very confident...He was very certain. We even had a bet of two hundred dollars.

I searched using the net to verify my claim. It didn't take much time to gather for answers...

The human heart is nine (9) inches long x three (3) inches wide.It is located within the mediastinum, bordered laterally by the lungs, posteriorly by the backbone, and anteriorly by the sternum.

source: http://www.cayuga-cc.edu/people/web_pages/greer/biol204/heart1/heart1.html

And so where is the mediastinum?

The mediastinum lies in the midline between the two pleural cavities. It is divided into superior,anterior, middle and posterior compartments. In the superior mediastinum lie the brachiocephalic veins, the branches from the aortic arch, the trachea and esophagus. In the thin anterior mediastinum lies the thymus gland. The middle mediastinum is occupied by the heart. The posterior mediastinum is continuous with the superior mediastinum and contains the esophagus, primary bronchi and the thoracic aorta.

source: http://www.med.mun.ca/anatomyts/thorax/media.htm

I was not contented, I even asked my doctor friend for the answer since it is his area of studies. He answered, "The heart is at the left side of the chest."

And so I lost the bet.

From a connotative point of view, the heart is the center of everything... it is neither on the left nor on the right. It is the core, the center, the life.

Then, something popped into my mind... or heart?
"We cannot find something not unless we know where we are coming from..."

So, where is your heart?

on having friends

2009-10-10T11:37:00.005+08:00

Somebody once conveyed to me a saying which after more than a decade still lingers in my head:

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF FRIENDS.
One is a FRIEND-FRIEND and the other is a TRUE FRIEND.

A friend-friend is a product of circumstances. Take away the circumstances and the essence of friendship is gone...

Arthur and I became friends because we were colleagues at work. We had no choice but to bond together because we belonged to the same department. Then, when the time came that he had to transfer to another workplace, the fire of friendship started to dwindle. I guess he was just a friend-friend. The circumstance that created the friendship was our work. Then, when his work was changed so did our friendship.

On the other hand,there is a true friend who is beyond circumstances and the essence never fades...

She was my classmate in the University. When I was in my third year, I got transferred to another class. I really had to blend in because most of the faces in the class were not really welcoming. Then , there was this girl classmate of mine who was kind enough to smile and she invited me to join this group of young counselors. Her invitation changed my life. We became really close. She was like an older loving sister (I want to laugh) to me. Initially, she had this not-so-good impression about me but time had its way for her to realize the good person that I was and I am.

After some years our communication became limited and for a decade, i never heard about her. I was not able to attend her wedding, I was not there during the baptism of her child, I was not really around for some years. Then, Facebook reconnected us. After the separation, it was still the same. Nothing has changed. We were still the good old buddies (as in literally old)that we were. I felt good knowing that she was A OK in her life. I started telling her about my life so far. With in between jokes and bullying, we rekindled the friendship that is so true. There is no doubt, she is a true friend of mine.

A FRIEND-FRIEND or A TRUE FRIEND?

This is how I usually assess my friends after some years of knowing them. I am happy that I have true friends more than the fingers in my hands, but I also have a number of friend-friends.

fight or flight?

2009-10-05T10:48:00.005+08:00

Fear is an emotion. It is something embedded in the system of complex organisms like humans. There is fear when we feel that our survival is threatened. Naturally it can push us to either fight or flight.

GET UP AND FIGHT. HAVE NO FEAR!

Before, I could not sleep with lights off. It was during my younger years when my imagination was still very active. I could feel goosebumps as I would imagine white ghosts and the Boogeyman out to get me in my room. So just for these lucid imaginations to go away, I would sleep with lights on.

Then, a time came when I had to stay in a boarding house near the university where I was studying. I had no choice because my home was thousand miles away from my school. I happened not to be alone in the room and I really had to adjust with different personalities in the boarding house. Unfortunately, my room mate could not sleep with lights on. We were completely opposite and that was just one of them. It was really a torture every night. So many times I had to convince myself those creatures did not exist. There were many sleepless nights just to fight the fear of sleeping in dim light. Eventually, I got it over with.

Sometimes it is best to fight the fear otherwise we will be its slave.It doesn't take overnight to win the battle against fear, but it takes time. We must persevere and endure to conquer fear.

RUN... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

There are people who would say that only a coward runs away. They consider it as an easy way out and running doesn't get the fear away. By doing so, we make ourselves a laughing stock and a lesser being in the face of others.But I want to look at the other side of the spectrum.

I believe that not everything is worth the fight and sometimes we have to run away to keep us alive. If we realize that we are really on the losing end, why should we still gamble or risk? It is better not to make a drastic move. Sometimes the best strategy is to run away.

I was just a small kid then when got into a fight.There were quite a number of them against me. It started with the teasing and bullying so I tried to hit back. When I realised that there were many of them, I ran away. I didn't want to end up beaten up. I told myself that there would be another time to get back at them. After some days when everything cooled down, a hard fight never materialised but rather a truce between me and them. It ended positively. The act of running away served me in a good way.

I think I have run a lot of times in my life. But, I don't regret because it made me survive. It made me who I am - a stronger person

just try

2009-09-24T12:15:00.003+08:00

“If you don’t try, you’ll never know if you can do it.”

There was a time during my childhood when I was starting to learn how to ride a bicycle. My parents were worried that I would get bruises while learning how to pedal so they bought me a bicycle with balancing wheels. These are two small wheels attached to the bicycle to keep the balance while riding. For weeks, I had them. I enjoyed riding but I felt that I wasn’t really learning how to ride a bicycle. So without my parents’ knowledge, I removed them. At first, I fell and lost my balance. I had to try a lot of times. Surely, I got bruises on my knees which at present I still have those scars to remember my biking days. Then, one day I finally got it. I cycled the whole day and enjoyed the feeling of being in control of my balance. If I kept my balance support wheels then most probably I did not learn how to ride a bicycle.

Sometimes, we have to challenge ourselves and be out of our comfort zones to really learn something new. It takes guts and chultz pa in trying something different. There is fear. There is uncertainty and doubt. It is a challenge to go for it or not.

I had Practical Arts subjects during my Primary years. We were taught how to make baskets, trays, dust pans and many other things related to carpentry. I tried doing all the projects on my own but I guess it wasn’t really my area of expertise. I always ended up asking the house helper to do the projects for me. I really tried, but it never worked. I wasn’t given the virtue of patience and the skill in craftsmanship. Yes, I passed my Practical Arts but with the help from others. Even up to now, I don’t know how to use a hammer and a nail.
Sometimes, we have to accept the fact that there are things no matter how much we try, we really cannot do them. There may be a question of interest and determination, but really it is sometimes a question of skill, talent and ability. Looking at the bright side, it reminds us that there are things we cannot do by ourselves alone and we still need the help of other people.

Taking the challenge is a way to know your limitations and discover your strengths. You wouldn’t know not unless you try. There are risks. There could be multiple failures. There will be disappointments for sure, but what the heck…

man in the mirror

2009-09-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

A story once told about a man who was very curious to learn the ways of the world. One day, he asked his wise teacher, “Master, where can I find the most valuable possession of mankind?”

Without much delay, the master gently replied, “From here, you must climb seven mountains and cross seven seas. At the end of your journey, you will find the temple of enlightenment. In the temple, a vault sits at the center. Open it and the most valuable possession that mankind holds dearest will be unveiled in front of you.”

The man immediately set out on a journey and did as what his master told him. When he reached the temple, he immediately saw the vault that could reveal the answer to his question. He became excited. He was expecting to see the rarest kind of diamond or metal that people would die for to have. Then, he opened it. He was surprised to see that nothing was inside but a mirror reflecting his image. He cried, “Master, why did you fool me? There is nothing valuable here. It is just a mere mirror inside.”

Then, his master mystically appeared right before his very eyes. He said, “Be enlightened. You have already seen the most valuable possession you as a man could possibly have.”

I heard this story from years back when I was in still a college freshman taking up a bachelor degree in Psychology. Personally, it struck a chord. The story is simple and it doesn’t need much elaboration. However the message is deep and profound. From the story, some basic truths about life and man are presented for us ponder on and think of.

- It is human nature to ask questions and be curious.

- It takes effort to search for truth and answer. Life is a teacher who doesn’t give the answer right away. You have to find it for yourself.

- Never put your assumption as truth. There are many unexpected circumstances in the end.

- Most of the time, the answer to the most difficult question is a very simple answer.

- Man has successfully explored his world and even beyond, but still fails to see himself.

cleaning up time

2009-09-16T08:31:00.003+08:00

Last Sunday, my two-week holiday started and I decided not to travel like the previous holidays. I was certain to spend the entire vacation at home. I knew that boredom would get in the way so I diverted my attention on house errands that must be done.

Then, I noticed that my room needed a total clean up. It was in a clutter. So I grabbed a duster, a broom, and a mop. From the ceiling to the walls and on the floor, I tidied them all up. I did rearrange my shelves, table, cupboard, and bed. I swapped the places of my television, speakers, computer, printer, microwave, mirror, and bags. After some hours, my room was spic and span and had a new look. It really made a difference because I felt more comfortable. Then, I promised myself to do a regular general cleaning so that mess wouldn’t pile up again.

When I was throwing the tons of rubbish that I collected from my room, I felt relieved because I finally got the time to get rid of them. Maybe, I just needed a perfect time or maybe I just needed the right mood for cleaning up.

After that, I went back to my room checking every inch. I smiled. I began to realise that I should also try to clean up my personal mess so I would also feel more comfortable with myself and others around me. I sighed, “If it were only as easy as cleaning the room.”

Then introspection set in…

“For the past years, I know that I have been harbouring anger, resentments, regrets, guilt, envy, ill-feelings, and pride deep within me. They have caused a lot of mess in my personal life. Actually, the dirt has already left stains and sadly, it will take some time to remove. But, I think I should take the first step anyway until everything gets cleaned up. I know it is more than a room, but I want to feel a clutter-free heart. I want to sleep peacefully. I want to move freely. I want to laugh out loud. I want to be in my good old self again. ”

Now, the cleaning goes on…

alone time

2009-09-14T09:09:00.003+08:00

Many people dread to be alone. Maybe it is because of the deafening silence that goes with it or maybe the absence of someone to talk to is something unbearable. There are many “maybes”, but let me think otherwise.

There was a time I had to make a very important decision in my career path. There were so many advices, both solicited and unsolicited, coming from different people. They told me to do this and do that, but still deep within me, something was not certain. Then, for almost a week I went into hibernation mode. I spent most of my time in silence and being in places all by myself. I don’t know what happened, but after sometime I gained clarity in thinking. My thoughts were no longer shrouded by cobwebs and I finally made a stand for my final decision. I am not saying I made the a perfect decision, but I felt a sense of strength that I could pull through whatever consequences were on the way. Sometimes, it pays being alone.

I had a very busy year way back in 1999. I had a new job and I couldn’t see a blank space on my schedule board. It was tiring yet fun. I was everywhere. Almost every day I got to blend in with people from all walks of life. My mobile phone was ringing from time to time, my beeper kept on buzzing and my planner was always full of meetings, appointments, workshops, seminars and rehearsals. There was even a time I had 72 hours of non-stop work. After that, I went home and slept for 24 hours straight. I turned off my beeper and mobile. For five days, I cut myself to the world. I stayed in my room and spent the time being alone without disturbance. Of course, I went back to work, but the experience made me feel recharged. Sometimes work and other people can be tiresome and a short period of solitude can make the exhaustion go away.

During my quiet moments, I don’t really have a ritual. I just let my imagination flow while listening to music. I stop thinking of complicated thoughts while watching a funny movie. I sketch and draw a lot of things. And most especially, I sleep soundly.

Now, I always look forward to my “alone time” every now and then. It is my way of meditation. It is my way of building a strong self. It is my way of being my true self. It is in fact a relaxation, the most affordable way.

chicken soup

2009-08-29T10:14:00.004+08:00

It has been a long while since I posted my last entry. I became too preoccupied with my work and I had no computer to use during my free time. Worse than that, I felt really sick. In fact, I still have my colds as I type this entry.

While I was at the peak of my sickness, many of my concerned friends gave me advices on what to do and how to deal with my condition. Someone texted me to drink lots of water... a former work colleague told me to take a rest. Then my housemate reminded me to take my medicine.

But there is this one advice that made me feel better... a chicken soup.

I don't know what is with chicken soup but it never fails. The warmth and comfort it brings can really make someone get well. Just the aroma of it gives a soothing feeling. It helped me get through that rough day of feeling weak.

Sometimes it is a wonder how a simple chicken soup can do all the healing work.

realisations

2009-08-12T09:39:00.006+08:00

Our existence allows us to experience innumerable lessons presented to us by life's circumstances.These lessons can be truly relevant or even something trivial. They can be life-changing, either in a good way or in a bad way, as we continue to further the length of our lifeline.

It has been years now since the last time I had my introspection. I had so much of self searching and reflecting during the early years of my adulthood maybe because it was the time I was choosing the right path to take in life.

Introspection has always been a beautiful experience because it makes me more in tune with myself and I feel it grows wisdom in me as I ponder on the very core of my being. Last night, I was scribbling down a list of the important realisations I have made so far in my 30 plus years of being alive. I do this as a way of "killing time" or "making me sleep".

Before I went dead to the world, I was able to write down my TOP FIVE realisations in life:

1. It is human to take advantage for his own benefit.

I encountered people who are around because they can benefit from being around somebody. They are like parasites who depend on the host. Once the host is dead, the parasites leave. Actually, I cannot blame them because we all need to survive.

2. Pain follows happiness.

I was very happy to finally get my candidacy for baccalaureate graduation, but then after some days my father died. We had this unforgettable high school reunion and ties were finally rekindled, but a tragic death of one of our closest classmates followed after three days. We had again a reunion not in a beach resort or hotel anymore, but in a funeral. I know I sound weird and morbid, but that is my experience. Don't get me wrong because I strongly believe that after the pain, happiness comes around. It is just a cycle.

3. Everyone has a dark side.

Sometimes I see people who have this too-good-to-be-true image, but I can bet my life that they are not who we think they are. There is no one perfect so we can already stop pretending to be perfect. We all have our evil and dark personality. Instead of suppressing it, why don't we embrace it because it is a part of who we really are. I know I have one...

4. You can never lose what you never had.

We find it difficult to let go of people and relationships because we are hurting. We cannot accept the fact that some things are not meant to last. But the worst part is when you are hit in front of your face that some people can easily throw us out because we were never important to them in the first place. It was a one way ticket relationship to start with.

5. There is always something better to come.

I don't know whether I am just trying to convince myself or I am really an optimistic person. But in this life, I am a living testimony that what I have right now and who I am right now are far greater than what I had and who I was before. There were stumbling blocks I encountered but I was able to weather them because I have faith that somewhere at the end of it all, something better awaits me.

NOTE

There are several experiences I have had to prove my generalisations true. These are my personal experience and I also observe them from others. I am nothing saying these are the truth, but these are true in my personal point of view.

reformatting life

2009-08-01T10:33:00.008+08:00

The other week my laptop was not working properly. It was difficult for me to get network coonection whenever I use my mobile phone as a modem. This was not the usual case so I really thought there was a problem. The worst scenario was it shuts down on its own. The only solution I had was to consult my friend who is an expert in computer (I am totally clueless about repair and troubleshooting). Then, he told me that my laptop possibly got a worm that blocks my connections. He examined my laptop further. After some hours, he explained to me all these blah blah blah, and I said, "Ah, yes. OK." Still, I was pretending to understand. Finally, he gave a strong recommendation: REFORMAT THE COMPUTER

What??!! He gave me no other choice.

After that, all data and information are gone and I felt like I was starting anew. My laptop is again running smoothly.Then, I wondered what if we can also reformat our lives and begin a new path as if nothing ever happened.Is it possible?

Nah, here I go again... But I think I have a point. There are others out there who would do anything to erase the past and have a fresh start. Those who have made terrible mistakes, those who have been hurt, those who have failed numerous times, those who are emotionally wounded, those who are caught in dilemmas, and those who are entangled in the web of life.

Sadly, Reformatting our lives is not possible at the moment (Who knows?). The things we experienced from the past will continue to play a role in who we are at present. They can never be erased and gone. They have become a part of ourselves.

I believe many have tried to reformat themselves but still the past keeps on haunting and chasing them. We cannot just delete and forget because there are just memories that are engraved inside our system. No matter how much we try, there is no way... So we just have to think of something else.

Another thought popped into my mind...

If there is no way to reformat ourselves, then what about a way to EVOLVE into something new and grand. What do you think?

is it worth the risk?

2009-07-16T08:41:00.003+08:00

To risk is better said than done especially to someone who has tried… failed… and got hurt in the process. As a result, some choose to play safe rather than experience the possibility of a negative outcome for the nth time.

It really takes courage to risk, and I cannot blame those who have lost the guts in one way or the other. But I know there will come a time and opportunity again will challenge them to take a life-changing risk.

I believe that “go-for-it” attitude is not always advisable because not everything in life is worth the risk. That is why when situations call for us to step forward, try to pause and think for a while.

In every decision that we make, there will always be the two sides of the coin. We cannot avoid hurting circumstances, but if the experience can make us grow as a person, then it is worth a try.

Just think about this:

IS IT WORTH THE RISK?

To LAUGH… is to risk appearing like a fool.
To WEEP… is to risk appearing sentimental.
To REACH OUT… is to risk involvement.
To EXPOSE FEELING… is to risk exposing your true self.

To PLACE your IDEAS and DREAMS before a crowd… is to risk rejection.

To LOVE… is to risk not being loved in return.
To LIVE… is to risk dying.
To HOPE… is to risk despair.
To TRY… is to risk failure.

But RISKS must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
Those who risk nothing do nothing and have nothing. They may avoid sufferings and sorrow but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by their certitude, they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.
Only the one who risks is FREE.

Anonymous

on sleeping

2009-07-04T10:42:00.004+08:00

The other day, I did it again.

It was a Thursday. After my work in the morning, I had nothing to do in the afternoon so I watched a DVD movie. Immediately afterwards, I went out to buy some personal things. It didn't take me a long time since my place is just a few blocks away from the town's commercial center. Few minutes later, I was already inside my room thinking of what to do next. It was like five in the afternoon.

Then, everything went BLANK.

I came to my senses it was already four in the morning. I still felt groggy so I went back to sleep. The next thing I knew it was already one in the afternoon. My house mate told me some of my friends were looking for me the other night and I was totally dead to the world that I wouldn't wake up.

This was not the first time it happened to me. I usually would experience this after I finished a very tedious work, but this time I was not even preoccupied with a lot of things.

I know there are many factors to consider, but it bothers me now that I can be detached from the real world for half a day straight. It feels like I have missed something or there was a gap missing especially upon waking up not knowing the date.

Is it a good thing or not? I still do not know. But whatever the causes are, I hope it is just my body's unique way of working its system.

education and learning difficulties

2009-07-02T09:03:00.003+08:00

“I could still remember my first year as a teacher. I was just a fresh graduate from the university and had no experience at all in teaching so everything was new to me. I only had the theories in education to back me up in my work. After some months of teaching General Science to lower secondary, I became very disappointed about the academic performance of some of my students. I labeled them slow learners because they couldn’t catch up with the lessons in the class. While the others were doing good and even better, they kept flunking the subject. They were really a pain in the neck. Aside from academics, they were also the ones with behavioral problems.”

That was a testimony from a teacher I have met a few years ago. The scenario was very familiar especially to the many teachers who can resonate with the case. I do sympathize with the situation, but I strongly disagree with the label that slow learners are causing many problems to teachers because they don’t learn easily the way others do. “Who are these students?” is definitely not an important question, but rather “Why are these students causing trouble to teachers?” is a relevant point of discussion. There are many factors to consider in understanding why these students with learning difficulties are becoming nuisance in the classroom.

First consideration is that individuals have different ways of learning. This view is supported by Neuro Linguistic programming (NLP), which sees that there are various modes of acquiring learning. According to NLP, there are people who learn fast when they see something (VISUAL), others when they hear (AUDITORY) and others when they experience the action (KINESTHETIC). It is suggested that teachers should assess the styles of learning of their students so as to achieve optimum learning in the classroom. Given this premise, it can be said that if a teacher knows different strategies and methodologies to cater to the different styles of learning, then there will be no slow learners.

Another consideration is when the educational system is not responsive to students with special needs. There are students that must be in special groups. Those gifted students may get bored in a class with mostly average students because they have already mastered the lesson. On the other hand, those students with learning difficulties may find it really hard to catch up when combined with the gifted ones. Therefore, there is a need for streaming the students so as to lessen the burden of the teacher adjusting to different types of learners in a heterogeneous class. Thus, we can no longer say it is the fault of the slow learners.

Aside from the two considerations given, the school curriculum is also a factor. If the school focuses mainly on academics and not cultivating other intelligences, then we can consider the slow ones really slow in everything they do. That is a sweeping generalization. A student may not be good in numbers and language but he or she has to be good in something else like in sports or in music. This idea is supported by the foundation of multiple intelligence. Teachers need to find the spot where students excel most. With this, students are all achievers in their own rights.

With the considerations enumerated above, it is clear that slow learners are not a liability. They are merely misunderstood beings and such stigma can be erased only through dynamic methodologies and strategies in teaching and sensitive school curriculum that will cater to the individuality of students. Let us all be reminded that learning is a process and each and everyone has his or her own way of learning things. There are no lesser ones. We are all just unique in our own ways of thinking, perceiving and living.

breaking the cycle

2009-06-06T10:23:00.005+08:00

We are living in a new age where there are so many tasks to do and people are so preoccupied with a lot of concerns. Despite all of these, there are still who feel bored. Not because their senses are not stimulated enough, but life has turned out to be a mere routine.

I must confess that I, from time to time, feel the boredom from work, relationships, and sometimes myself. Even though I'm not doing a lot of tasks I feel exhausted and this is my signal that my life is starting to get boring. So, what do I do? I start to become more unpredictable and I try do actions that can break the cycle.

What have I done so far?

1. The other day, I felt that my morning routine was already quite dull. Every morning, I wake up from bed, get my smoke and coffee, take a bath, fix my things, go to the workplace and that's it, the same steps happen from Monday to Thursday and Friday. Now, I still wake up in the morning, smoke, drink coffee, take a bath and fix my things to school. So what's the difference now? What did I change? Did I really break the cycle? Actually, I just added a new ingredient in my routine and that is cooking my breakfast. Usually I don't have the appetite in the morning, but whenever I cut my meal at night, I sure have the appetite in the morning. It also prevents me from oversleeping as it gives me the urge to get up because I'm hungry.Before I sleep, I now look forward to what I'll be preparing the following day. It was quite a change, but still a change to break the monotony of my morning life.

2. I felt that my physical image became so "the same" for the past months. I have been wearing the same clothes and the same look. Without much thinking, I went to a barber shop and had my head shaved. The following day, I felt different because people at work was shocked by what I did. I did not care whether the new hairdo was good or not, but the thing is, I stirred up their minds that morning. I gave them a new sight to behold.

3. I travel whenever I feel that the place where I am staying is becoming too familiar. I try to go to a new place as much as possible. Have you tried taking a bus going to a place you have never been to? That is one hell of an adventure. But make sure you take extra caution with you. learn how to read the surroundings.

4. Aside from travelling or hitchhiking, I usually rearrange things in the house or in my room. It gives me a feeling of having a new place to start anew. Cleaning is also my therapy for boredom. Cleaning comes with rearranging things. It does not only feed my obssessive compulsive behaviour, but it makes me feel good after I see my room free of clutter.

There are many other ways to break the cycle of a flatlined life... It takes a bit of courage to get away from the usual and a dash of child like mental attitude to enjoy a new adventure that awaits.

After sometime, things will become monotonous again, but dare to break it because there are so many things we can do, we just have to think about it.

on decision making

2009-05-23T11:12:00.003+08:00

We are faced with so many decisions and there are times we are confused on which way to take. Actions are needed to move further. Whether we like it or not, we have to make a stand and decide.

Whatever our decision is, in the end we need to ask ourselves a question: IS IT WORTH IT? We may take the road most people travel or the road less people travel, but when this whole journey is over... then it is only ourselves who can say if it was worth our while.

Think about it!

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And I looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I should be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

breaking the records

2009-05-04T10:35:00.004+08:00

Manny Pacquiao has once again proven superb prowess in the boxing ring as he knocked out Ricky 'Hitman' Hatton on their second round fight for the Junior Welterweight Championship last 3rd May 2009 held at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas.

He has already landed in the Boxing Hall of Fame for being the only boxer to achieve five titles from different divisions.I read an article from the Philippine Daily Inquirer (dated 4 May 2009)and let me quote:

"Pacquiao enshrined himself as the only boxer who fought in four weight classes in four successive fights and won them all..."

He is truly a global and phenomenal athlete... a well-loved figure by the Filipino people.

I agree with one of the newspapers that on the day of the fight, the clock stopped in Philippine territory as everybody was glued on television to watch the battle of East and West. Manny Pacquiao has carried the torch of Filipinos burning and its flag waving up high to the entire world. He has made the Philippines known once again in the international arena.

He has embodied the Filipino values and aspirations...

someone who has a strong faith in the almighty.
someone who has strong family ties.
someone who gets enthusiasm from friends and supporters.
someone who has achieved success from rags to riches.
someone who has a life that can inspire the aspirants.

A man worthy of praise and accolades.
MANNY, YOU ARE A TRUE FILIPINO PRIDE

gratitude in action

2009-04-27T06:48:00.002+08:00

Sometimes we fail to appreciate the good things that come our way and even those we already have. We tend to look at what others have and wish that we also have the same. I guess it is part of human nature so that we can continue to strive and work harder to achieve what we want. But let us not forget, sometimes we have better without us knowing it. It just needs a few minutes of introspection to go deep down ourselves and start to be a little bit more appreciative.

Looking at the blessings we possess can make us feel better and more confident of ourselves. Apart from that, it can be a start of becoming more understanding and giving to others. It can be said that the first step to being grateful is appreciating what we have. So, let us begin a simple act of self-appreciation.

THINK ABOUT THIS:

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness,
You are more blessed than the millions who won’t survive the week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation,
You are ahead of 20 million people around the world.

If you have food on your table, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep,
You are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and even a just a spare change,
You are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If you can read this message,
You are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read anything at all.

If you can hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful,
You are blessed because majority can, but most do not.

YOU ARE BLESSED IN WAYS YOU MAY NEVER EVEN KNOW.

breaking stereotypes

2009-04-23T22:06:00.005+08:00

I am not really an avid fan of reality television programs,but today is different. I saw this video clip of Susan Boyle (courtesy of You Tube) when she auditioned for British Got Talent. I would say I had goosebumps while listening to her. It is not only her style of singing that awed me, but the song as well. Her performance was totally a big surprise to the judges and the crowd.

It started when Simon Cowell called her on stage and had a some sort of interview. She is not physically attractive (according to media standards)like the usual pop singing sensations that we get to see on television. She is already past her youthful years. During her short chit chat with Simon, the audience and the other judges seemed to have prejudged her already based on her looks and personal background. It was pretty obvious from their facial reactions and Simon's tone of voice.

The moment her song was played and she opened her mouth to sing, everything changed. Susan Boyle wowed the audience and the judges. I guess the song helped her as well in breaking the stereotype initially accorded to her. She sang, "I dreamed a dream" from Les Miserables. From the song you can feel a sense of struggle yet a hope of liberation at the same time.

I myself couldn't believe that she had captivated the audience because they kept on their thunderous applause and scream; and at the end of her performance they gave her a standing ovation. Obviously after that she got the unanimous decision from the judges to be accepted in the reality show 'British Got Talent'.

Thank you, Susan Boyle for breaking the media stereotypes and for sending a message to the world that talent above all makes the difference.

Lyrics | Fantine - I Dreamed a Dream lyrics

traffic jam

2009-04-22T19:57:00.004+08:00

Have you ever felt at some point in your life you are like stuck on the road you can not even move forward? It seems like a heavy traffic and you are driving at a snail’s pace. Time is running and patience is the only thing that keeps you from breaking loose.

In life, we encounter situations similar to a heavy traffic…

It is when there is a problem that we cannot solve and we feel that there are no available solutions around, not even help from others is within reach. It is like being caught in a traffic jam and there are no alternative routes to go.

It is when we feel bored, burnt out and exhausted with our work and we feel very stagnated and we have this thinking that we are not even growing at all both personally and professionally. It is like following a road with a long trail of cars moving from bumper to bumper, the pace is so slow and hours are wasted following the queue.

It is when we experience failures and we begin to be frustrated, irritated and much worse angry at ourselves and others.It is like experiencing the rush hours and we have a lot of agenda to attend to. As a result, we easily freak out with what is happening.

But you know what? The good thing about traffic jam is after some hours of waiting, there comes a smooth flow of traffic and in the end you will be right in front of your doorsteps. I hope we see life as just the same.

The one thing that can help us survive is patience that we will get through this and reach our destination or our goals in mind. Patience is truly a virtue.

on life's challenges

2009-04-18T12:29:00.003+08:00

In life, we are faced with different kinds of challenges.Some are easy, some are not. Some have very slight impact on people's lives, but some have strong repercussions that often leave an indelible scar to whoever is hit even after so many years.

People deal with challenges differently. To others, they are considered barriers or obstacles. To some, they are opportunities that can test one's tolerance and endurance.But whatever it is, life can never be meaningful with out challenges.

Now, I dare you to think about these thoughts on life's challenges that I got from my handy pocketbook entitled, "Sparks of Wisdom" by C.S. Canonigo. I find them powerful words of wisdom that can inspire us to overcome life's crucial challenges.

"We cannot act as we wish, we must act as we can."

"Either I will find a way,or I will make one!"

"Every time you perform a task, try to excel your last performance, and very soon you will excel those around you!"

"If you don't try, you'll never know if you can do it!"

"The greatest glory is not never falling, but in rising in every time we fall!"

"Never mind how much you know. The important thing is what you can do with what you know."

"If life hands you a lemon, don't complain; but convert it into lemonade."

the value of losing

2009-04-11T23:18:00.004+08:00

Just like anyone, I dread the moment of losing something that has a personal value to me. I find it hard to let go and accept the fact that some good things never last. I may sound selfish, but that is the truth.

When I was a kid, I had this Sesame Street Big Bird coin bank. It really inspired me to put my extra coins that I got from my allowance. I found joy and excitement knowing that my coin bank got heavier each day. I couldn’t help myself to make a list of what to buy as soon as I got it filled. Then, one day it just got lost. It was stolen. Nobody even dared to help me find it. Since then, I have never tried buying another coin bank. I don’t want to experience again putting so much effort for something which may eventually be gone…

There was a time I got so hooked on Transformers (way back in the 80’s) that even my notebooks were all covered with these robots. I could say I had a ton of collections from bags to stickers, even sharpeners and pencils. But more than anything, my digital wristwatch Transformer was very dear to me. It was a detachable watch and it could really be transformed into a robot. I had the Optimus Prime design. I would wear it proudly at school and brag about it to my friends. Then, one day it just stopped working. I tried to buy a new battery, but it didn’t work. I tried to look for a replacement of the same kind, but there were no more stocks available. Sadly, I had to put it in my storage box. Since then, I have never tried buying another item that is not durable and long lasting. I have already put into consideration service warranty whenever I purchase something. I don’t want to experience again giving too much value on something which may eventually be broken…

I had a pet dog once. I named it “Brownie”, but he had white fur. Maybe it was a standard name for a dog that I could think of that time. I fed him, I bathed him, I cuddled him. He was a spoiled brat actually. He would always get a good share of meal whenever I was around. He even slept near my bed. He would play with me and accompany me in my afternoon walks. I enjoyed being his friend and playmate. Then, one day he got sick. He couldn’t eat. He started to weaken and eventually died. I cried and missed him for quite a while. Since then, I have never tried domesticating animals again because they cannot stay for long. I don’t want to experience again spending so much time for something which may be short-lived…

Since I have lost many valuable possessions in life, I have learned to avoid further losing. I have mastered playing safe so as not to experience it again. But then again, these are just defenses. Still, I dread a future scenario of losing. As a result, I don’t really get so attached and personal in all my dealings. I may appear to be, but that’s what you call superb ‘acting’.

Lately, I’ve been trying to rethink of what these past experiences made me. Yeah, they have made thick walls around me and I became a prisoner inside. I have just become so focused on me and the self-pity has grown much bigger than me.

I have never realized the value of losing until now. So what if efforts can be meaningless? What matters is I have exerted and I have given a part of myself. So what if there’s no warranty? What matters is I have risked and I have tried my best. So what if time is short-lived? What matters is I have made use of my time well. So what if there’s losing? What matters is I have become a better person.

life's learning from childhood memories

2009-04-09T10:46:00.007+08:00

Try to recall childhood memories. For sure, this kind of retrospection will give a smile to a wrinkled face. More than the reminiscing, this allows us to ponder on the things we have learned from life itself.
-----

When I was five years old, I was the one who convinced my parents to enrol me in a day care centre (during those times, the preparatory school was still evolving.) I even promised them that I would go to school on my own and would not disturb them. By the way, the school was only 3 streets away from our house, but of course for a five-year old kid, that is considered kilometers away. And so, I started my schooling days, I learned a lot, made friends to fellow classmates who are still my close friends up until now, and most especially I had fun.

From there I learned that:

I must chase whatever my goal is, go for it and make it happen.
I can have what I want if I know how to negotiate.
The strength of friendship goes with time.
Schooling is easier if it is more casual and fun.

-----

I was already six years old when I entered kindergarten. There were two classes, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. I persuaded my mother to put me in the afternoon class because I didn't want to wake up early and it was also an advantage to them. Then, I got used to go to school in the afternoon.I enjoyed my afternoon class.

From there I learned that:
This is the root cause of "my being" nocturnal. I hate waking up early in the morning. It is like a daily ordeal I have to go through during work days. At least, now I know "why".

-----

There was a time I had a fight with my classmate. My mother was called by my class teacher because the glass in the cabinet was broken due to our heated fight in the classroom. My mother talked to me, but I was very confident to reason out because it was not really my fault. I was just trying not to get hit by the broom my classmate was using to attack me so I pushed my classmate and that caused the accident. I even went to my class teacher to reason out. I did it on my own. Imagine a seven year old kid talking to a teacher in her forties, and not just talking... I was trying to explain the whole story and reasoning it was not my fault. My class teacher understood and I was given pardon. Of course, I also said sorry.

From there I learned that:
I must stand for what I believe in is right.
Talking can end all disputes.
Sometimes you need to fight back so as not to get bullied.

-----

Wheww... These are just a few. I have finally learned that what I know at the moment are actually experiences I learned when I was still a kid. I think I need to do this regularly so I can get in touch with my inner child on a regular basis.

just be happy!

2009-04-07T10:11:00.005+08:00

The other week, out of boredom, I bought a bunch of DVD movies that I could watch and at the same time enjoy. I am big fan of 'feel good' movies so most of the DVD movies I bought were mostly on that genre. Why? It is because they give me a sense of relaxation and it really feels good after watching.I watch movies for entertainment purposes and I don't see torturing my head as fun. If you don't understand, try to watch Jim Carey's 23. That should do it.

I was able to see "Marley and Me" of Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson. I liked the movie , but I am not here to write about it, some other time maybe...

So, what is there to write about?

In the beginning part of the movie (the setting), I heard this song which really sounded familiar. Later, I learned it is from R.E.M. , a band from the 90's that popularised the hit song, "Losing My Religion". I missed this song (the former not the latter)so much. It has been like years that I haven't heard of this. It got me excited.

So, what is there to be excited about?

Well, It feels good to hear the good oldies from way back. The song is light and it has a lifting effect. Those who have experienced the decade of the 90's, you can relate to what I am saying especially to the music produced at that time.

So, what is the song all about?

Actually, there is nothing very deep about the song. It is just a song of expressing happiness, that's all. There is one thing I've realised though... Happiness is not something to think about, it something that you have to feel, right?

So, everybody let us feel the song, sit back and just be happy!

Shiny happy people laughing
Meet me in the crowd
People people
Throw your love around
Love me love me
Take it into town
Happy happy
Put it in the ground
Where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine

Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing

Everyone around love them, love them
Put it in your hands
Take it take it
There's no time to cry
Happy happy
Put it in your heart
Where tomorrow shines
Gold and silver shine

Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing

friendship

2009-03-18T21:49:00.004+08:00

The other day, I was browsing through my past e-mails that I've kept over the years. Then, there I was... I bumped into one of those forwarded mails that I find worth reading. Here it goes:

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on a stone. Why?"

The other friend replied:

"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But,when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

After reading this very simple story with predictable moral, I came to think of my friends. Yes,I am friendly, I know I am. But, I am somehow selective as to who my circle of real friends are. Not that I am snob or choosy, It is just that I know for a fact that only few can tolerate my peculiar moods and bear with my tantrums. In short, I am not easy to deal with... it is in my personality, I guess.

I can no longer count the number of times I have bullied my best friend. Verbally, of course! Or maybe he was in his usual complacent self that I hate especially when my hands are full of tasks at work.

On the other hand, I also can no longer count the number of times my best friend has hurt me. Verbally, of course! Or maybe I'm always in my sensitive mode whenever he cracks jokes that really hit me.

After the hurt, there will be a cold war. The length of battle depends on the situation. There will be times I do the first move to close the gap, and I know there are times he is the one trying to reach out. Then, the rest is history. We let bygones be bygones.

No matter what happens, we are still bosom buddies at the end of the day. Not because we are colleagues at work and he drives me to and from work, it is because we have finally known each other that much we are no longer best of friends, we are brothers.

your love

2009-03-17T11:01:00.006+08:00

Many popular songs are written about love. In fact, there is a never - ending list of songs that expresses this feeling of affection towards someone. It has already become a formula element in making a hit song and it has never failed to touch the hearts of listeners and music aficionados.

Here is yet another music about love, but personally speaking... it has a whole new meaning to me:

YOUR LOVE
Alamid

You’re the one that never lets me sleep
To my mind and to my soul you touch my lips
You’re the one that I can’t wait to see
With you here by my side, I’m in ecstasy

I am all alone without you
My days are dark without the glimpse of you
Now that you came into my life
I feel complete. The flowers bloom
The morning shines and I can see

CHORUS

Your love is like the sun that lights up my whole world
I feel the warmth inside
Your love is like the river that flows down through my veins
I feel the chill inside

Every time I hear our music plays
It reminds me of the things that we’ve been through
And in my mind I can’t believe it’s true
But in my heart the reality is you

‘Cause I’m all alone without you
My days are dark without the glimpse of you
Now that you came into my life
I feel complete. The flowers bloom
The morning shines and I can see

living the moment

2009-03-17T10:43:00.002+08:00

There is really nothing permanent in this world. It is but a cycle we go through as part of the life process. A dose of happiness is also equivalent to a pint of sadness. It is a cycle that continuously flow just like after the rain there is sunshine and after birth there is death. So while we are still cherishing our mere existence, we might as well enjoy and live the moment while it lasts.

There are times we are a slave of our past that we fail to appreciate the good things right in front of us.

There are times we are too preoccupied with our future that we fail to see what we already have.

In short... we should all live for today!

of litter, letter and love

2009-03-08T22:07:00.008+08:00

I was browsing through my collections the other day just to clear my thoughts and I happened to bump into these pile of papers which others may think of as rubbish. True, I call them my collections because I don't have the heart to throw them all away. I know that they can be of good use someday.

Most of these papers are my students' essays which I think are either interesting or good specimen for editing exercises.

I was able to unearth again this poem from a student of mine way back in 2004. I could still remember the lesson... It was about letter writing.

To my surprise, he wrote a special message to something personified.

Have a look:

To the LOVE of my life,

Words cannot describe how much I feel for you. You are the most beautiful thing that I have ever experienced and I am thankful that I have found you.

You are perfect in every way even the first time I’ve met you – it was truly love at first sight. And from that day onwards, I knew that we would be together until the end of time.

You have guided to me to reach for my goals and you have propelled me to action.
In times of defeat, you are an inspiration so I can keep on trying and never give up hope.

You have twisted the way I see this monotonous life. You have given it a spark and challenge so I can rise above my adversaries.

You are always there for me through the good and bad times, and for that, I am very grateful and I promise that I will always try to improve myself so that I can be the man you want me to be.

Truly, you have always been faithful to me though I may have not been always faithful to you, but I have changed and I have vowed to be with you no matter what.

You don’t know how much you mean to me. That is why I am writing this love note especially for you… to you my beloved, FOOTBALL of my life.

Safarul Izwan

francis m's time

2009-03-06T22:31:00.011+08:00

It was only late afternoon today, 6 March 2009, I learned that Francis Magalona died after months of battling with Leukemia. Yes, it came to me as a surprise but deep inside me I know that this sad moment is possible as he was undergoing treatment.

Who is Francis Magalona, anyway?

aka Francis M... the master rapper... a prolific song writer in the Philippine music industry... He is considered an icon by his peers in the music biz...

He is known for his song, "Mga Kababayan ko!" (My fellow country men!) which took the air waves by storm during the early 90's.

He is one of the hosts in the longest running afternoon variety show in Philippine television, "Eat Bulaga".

So many tags and accolades I can enumerate, but more than anything else, he is the man behind the song KALEIDOSCOPE from which this blog of mine sprouted.

His words from the song KALEIDOSCOPE moved me to see the world and people fairly and without prejudice. It made me appreciate individual differences, thus my respect for humanity strengthened. His song made a difference in the way I view life.

And today, as I pay respect to a good man on his well lived life, I share to you his song...

KALEIDOSCOPE

So many faces, so many races
Different voices, different choices
Some are mad, while others laugh
Some live alone with no better half
Others grieve while others curse
And others mourn behind a big black hearse
Some are pure and some half-bred
Some are sober and some are wasted
Some are rich because of fate and
Some are poor with no food on their plate
Some stand out while others blend
Some are fat and stout while some are thin
Some are friends and some are foes
Some have some while some have most

Every color and every hue
Is represented by me and you
Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spinnin' round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world

Some are great and some are few
Others lie while some tell the truth
Some say poems and some do sing
Others sing through their guitar strings
Some know it all while some act dumb
Let the bassline strum to the bang of the drum
Some can swim while some will sink
And some will find their minds and think
Others walk while others run
You can't talk peace and have a gun
Some are hurt and start to cry
Don't ask me how don't ask me why
Some are friends and some are foes
Some have some while some have most

Every color and every hue
Is represented by me and you
Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spinnin' round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world

P.S.

Francis M, goodbye and thank you!

life's learners

2009-03-04T23:05:00.004+08:00

If there is one thing I have noticed about people is that:

There are people who learn things the easy way.They never repeat the same mistakes that other people experienced. By mere observation and realisation, they get the idea of what is best for them. They go through life unscathed. They always play safe so as to avoid possible failure. They take calculated risks because they learn before the experience itself.

Yet, there are people who learn things the hard way. They are stubborn because they need to experience it firsthand before realising what is good for them. They go through life full of bruises. They take risks and learn after the experience.

Unfortunately, there are people who never learn at all. They run in circles going through the same thing again and again. They are too coward to break the cycle and bears with whatever lies ahead of them.

red

2009-03-02T22:19:00.008+08:00

Red is a very powerful colour and there are many meanings attributed to it by…

PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE:

From a driver, it means stop…
From a student, it means errors and mistakes…
From a car racing aficionado, it means formula 1…
From a baker, it is the cherry on top of the cake…
From a soldier, it means bloody war…
From a party dude, it means fun…

PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT AGE GROUPS:

From a five-year-old kid, it is the colour of apple…
From a ten-year old, it could mean spaghetti or even a cool fizzy drink…
From a teenager, it means being in love…
From a young adult, it is about drive and passion, or even a strong appeal.
From an old person, it probably is about anger…

Whatever it is that red means…
In my life, he is one of my trusted friends.

yes, it is february

2009-02-21T10:54:00.005+08:00

Something to start with:
I think I'm just doing this because I got bitten by the valentine virus.

Love is so abstract that words are not enough to quantify its essence. I cannot elaborate any further because I know that love is ...

Sorry I ran out of words to say. But let me share to you a sonnet written by no other than William Shakespeare. Whenever the word 'love' pops into my head, I can't help but think of this poem I learned from my English Literature class.

I hope you appreciate this to keep the love alive on this love month of February.

SONNET 116
William Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

take time

2009-02-21T10:44:00.004+08:00

Have you noticed how time flies? In this modern world we live in, we are always on the go most of the time. We are so preoccupied with work and many other things. We have already forgotten the true essence of time. Time is something that we have to enjoy and make the most of and not be an alarm to signal deadlines and pressure. If we can enjoy time, we can enjoy the life of our existence.

Here's another poem to inspire us to live our life:

TAKE TIME

Take time to read
It is the foundation of wisdom.

Take time to think
It is the source of power.

Take time to work
It is the pride of success.

Take time to remember
It seals the promise of
friendship and love.

Take time to give
It fills a heartful of need.

Take time to play
It is the secret of perpetual youth.

Take time to look around
It reveals the beauty in truth.

Take time to love
It is the essence of life.

build walls

2009-02-21T09:55:00.004+08:00

The chameleons can change colors to protect them from predators.
The octopus can squirt dark to escape from enemies.
The kangaroos have tail not only for balance but weapon as well.
Animals have these defense mechanism all because of survival.
All wanting to stay alive... All wanting not to get hurt in the process and be eaten up alive... All wanting security and preservation of their kind.

Humans have defenses, too. There are times when we feel that the world outside is harsh, we build walls not to feel rejection. There are times that we feel other people exploit us, we build walls so that we would be stubborn enough not to feel anything. We have varied reasons why we build walls...But don't you think sometimes we have to break our own walls for a change?

BUILD WALLS

I build walls:
Walls that protect,
Walls that shield,
Walls that say I shall not yield
Or reveal
Who I am or how I feel.
I build walls:
Walls that hide,
Walls that cover what’s inside,
Walls that stare or smile or look away,
Silent lies,
Walls that even block my eyes
From the tears I might have cried.
I build walls:
Walls that never let me
Truly touch
Those I love so very much.
Walls that need to fall!
Walls meant to be fortresses
Are prisons after all.

if life is a coffee...

2009-02-02T11:51:00.004+08:00

Have you noticed why most people (I write: MOST) feel tired, stressed out and burned out despite the fact that we enjoy the benefits of comfortable living because of technological advancements?

Personally, I was not an exemption to this case. I was one of those people who always would feel unsatisfied and exhausted whenever troubles come into my life.I often asked myself why, but there were no answers. Only until I had a social immersion in one of the poorest places that I finally began my enlightenment.

Well, sometimes we really forget the core of our purpose of living and that our thinking is clouded by the materialism and physical appearance. Let me quote the little Prince as a reminder, "What is essential is invisible to the eye."

No, I did not become a perfect person after that, but at least the ranting lessened. That i finally vowed to a simple living - that is having only what is necessary for my life. When there are times I forget, I am reminded by this short story that my friend sent me through e-mail. I think you will also find it very familiar. Enjoy reading and contemplating. Here it goes:

If life is a coffee...

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old University of Notre Dame lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."

"Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it." Cups for Coffee?

make it happen

2009-01-25T23:59:00.002+08:00

It has always been a tradition that once the new year kicks off everybody is up and about making plans as to what must be accomplished for the entire year. As for me, I have never failed in listing down my goals every beginning of the year may they be small or big ones. The idea of setting goals makes me feel that I’m on the right track and prepared to hurdle the challenges in life the whole year round. This is not to brag, but I already consider myself a guru in the art of planning and setting goals, so let me help you in making yours.

First and foremost, you make sure that what you want is something realistic. Setting goals that are impossible to achieve is like chasing rainbow in the sky. It will just consume your time and effort achieving nothing in the end. An example of a realistic goal is something that you can really do like losing weight, getting better marks in school, joining a sports club, or even taking some time out with family members. It should be something within your premise that once you put your heart and mind to it, you can achieve it.

Aside from being realistic, you have to bear in mind that your goals must be clear and specific. Otherwise, at the end of the line you will be confused as to whether you have really achieved your goals or not. You don’t just say, “I want to do good in school this year.” What do you mean by doing “good”? Is it in terms of behaviour or academic performance? If it is about your academic standing, then what specific mark do you aspire? Would it just be a pass, a credit or a distinction? If you do not set standards that are specific and clear, It is most likely difficult to evaluate by the end of the year whether you made it or not.

Now that you are enlightened, you must not forget other ingredients that make goals worth pursuing. Having positive goals is one because there is a saying that what goes around comes around. If you think and do positive then it is a sure thing that positive results will come back to you. Another thing is that goals must have a time frame. If you are planning on putting on weight, then you should consider the number of months you target to get it done. This is to avoid cramming and frustration before the year ends. To top it all, bear in mind that all the goals you want to accomplish must be within your interests and capabilities. If not, all of these are doom to fail.

Goal setting is a sweat-free task, but the hardest part is making all these goals come to life. Action is vital to pursuing what we want. The question is: Are you ready to take on the challenge? Only those with chultz pa and determination get to the end of the line. You’ll get there if you think you can. So, Go for it! Make it happen.

moving on

2009-01-25T01:30:00.004+08:00

A new year has started so we let bygones be bygones. But some things don’t easily go away especially if it is a painful one. Sometimes we pretend that we finally get it over with so we can make others and much worse ourselves believe we are A OK. It is true that sometimes the smiles we wear are actually inverted deep inside. We cover it up no matter how long we want to, but there will really come a time that we just have to let go. There is no other choice but to move on…

Moving on while keeping our broken pieces together is no big joke. Yes, it takes much strength to carry on but more than anything else is having the patience to allow time run through its course of healing.

LOOKING BACK

We meet significant people as we head on with our life’s journey. We welcome them into our inner circle and eventually we become attached to them. After some time, we embrace them as an integral part of ourselves. Little do we know that someday the whole would fall apart. Now, pain comes in the way.

EXPERIENCING THE PAIN

It is never without a doubt that there is pain in every separation or break up. It aches to feel the reality of losing a great piece of who we are and much more if it is coupled with the hope that maybe, just maybe, things are going to be back the way it was.

REGENERATING THE SELF

Then, affliction intensifies as healing starts. Gradually, the body gets numb and succumbs to the natural process of reparation. This is the time we let it all go and signal a total surrender. It is when we feel helpless that our soul begins to nurture us and give us strength to move on until we finally regain the broken piece that was once lost. Finally, we are once again whole.

REMEMBERING A LESSON LEARNED

Only time can tell as to when we are fully recovered. Oftentimes the experience leaves a scar that reminds us of what we have been through. It is an indelible mark of a lesson in life learned first hand from experience. It will make us more afraid but it will gain us more wisdom in life.

promise of a lifetime

2009-01-24T09:52:00.010+08:00

There are moments in life that we feel we are lost... that we are in sorrow and pain... that we are confused... that we are abandoned... that there is nothing good happening to us... that there are uncertainties, but then someone comes along,

someone who gives us direction...someone who soothes our tired soul...someone who clears the cobwebs in mind...someone who makes us feel loved and comforted...someone who gives us reasons that life is all worthwhile... someone who promises to always be around at all times. And then, life is never the same.

PROMISE OF A LIFETIME
by Kutless

I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I'm feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away

Then I remember the pledge you made to me

CHORUS:
I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change

I still remember the pledge you made to me

BRIDGE:
I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside

And I am comforted

personal sanctuary

2008-11-26T11:01:00.005+08:00

I have heard this metaphor a gazillion times that life is a journey. And I deeply believe that it is and we are all travelers in this world.

The moment we are born we start the very first step of our life-long voyage towards whatever path ahead of us, may it be chosen or fate. So we trod, walk and sometimes run or even climb. How many steps have we taken so far? Are we there yet? Some are lost, others are determined to walk further and there are travelers who are taking their time and just strolling by.

Along the way we get tired and exhausted. When this happens we think of a place where we can feel recharged, rejuvenated and redefined – that place is our sanctuary. In our life we find our sanctuaries mostly in places we go to when we have concerns, problems, and unresolved issues. Whatever or wherever these sanctuaries are, it is important we have one. We need to have one otherwise it is impossible to walk further for another day.

As I have said, it is very important that we know our sanctuaries. These are the places where we can find security and comfort when we retreat from life's battles. These are the places that give us clarity, serenity and warmth. If we can’t find one, it would be like a suicide walking astray without direction and purpose.

Personally speaking, I can say that the sea is my personal sanctuary. Whenever I feel like clearing my mind I find myself walking along the beach. The vista is calming and the wind is like an embrace so comforting. I am free to talk to myself, I am free to express my self, I am free! After some hours of spending time with the sea, I go back to my usual life ready to face another day. I know now that when something is bothering me, the sea is just around the corner to comfort me.

What about you? Have you visited your sanctuary lately?

are you blue?

2008-11-21T13:40:00.004+08:00

Blue… blue… blue… my world is BLUE!

Blue is a primary colour.
It is the colour of the sky on a clear and unclouded day.
It paints mostly the earth’s surface seen from a distance on space.
But what else is there to know about the colour BLUE?

BLUER THAN BLUE

It may just be one of those colours we see around, but there is more to it than meets the eye. It has qualities or attributes related to depth and stability. It is a symbol of trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth and heaven. Light blue is associated with health, healing, tranquility, understanding, and softness. Dark blue represents knowledge, expertise power, integrity, and seriousness. It is said to be a highly acceptable colour for men.

THE POWER OF BLUE

It is regarded to be beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. It is strongly associated with tranquility and calmness.

You can use blue to promote products and services related to cleanliness, air and sky, water and sea.

Red, orange and yellow are warm colours associated with emotion, blue is linked to consciousness and intellect. Thus it is used to suggest precision when promoting high tech products.

Avoid using blue when promoting food and cooking, because blue suppresses appetite. When used together with warm colors like yellow or red, blue can create high-impact, vibrant designs; for example, blue-yellow-red is a perfect color scheme for a superhero.

THE BLUE LOGIC

Go figure the blue things around you.

Many educational institutions prefer dark blue as their school colour. Have you seen a school with a very light blue logo? Now, you know why.

Many spa or gym establishments are painted with mostly blue colour. Have you seen a legitimate reflexology clinic in black or red? That would be awkward, right? Now, you know why.

Many drinking water companies use blue or green colours, but mostly blue, for their product labels. Should I explain more? Now, you know why.

Let’s experiment. Ask someone to draw and colour a scenario about a peaceful and relaxing day. It can be very alarming (from a psychological point of view) if there is no trace of blue pigments on his drawing. I know you know why.

Start to observe some more. You’ll begin to understand and explain why things are not red, but blue.

MORE ABOUT BLUE

Even in the English language, the use of the word blue is not just confined to colour. Let’s again be familiar with these expressions about blue. I call it, the BLUE LINGO.

The positive ‘blue’ expressions:

true blue: someone who is dedicated, loyal and faithful
out of the blue: unexpected (could be positive or negative)
blue ribbon - first rate, top prize
blueblood - person of noble birth, royalty
bluestocking - well-read or scholarly woman
bluebook - register of socially prominent people

The negative ‘blue’ expressions:

feeling blue - feeling sad or depressed
blue devils - feelings of depression
the blues (not capitalized) - depression, state of sadness
blue Monday - feeling sad
baby blues - post-partum depression
singing the blues - bemoaning one's circumstances
blue laws - laws originally intended to enforce certain moral standards
blue language - profanity
bluenose - puritanical individual
into the blue - entering the unknown or escape to depths unknown

The shades of blue:

These words are synonymous with blue or represent various shades of the color blue.
Sapphire, azure, beryl, cerulean, cobalt, indigo, navy, royal, sky blue, baby blue, robin's egg blue, cyan, cornflower blue, midnight blue, slate, steel blue, Prussian blue.

be the best

2008-11-19T12:27:00.004+08:00

I’ve been in the training / education profession for quite a long time now and through the years I have found this formula that never fails. It is the use of affirmation before I start my session. An affirmation is a statement, a saying or maxim or a short poem that triggers the enthusiasm and positivism among the participants. So I have included in my to-do list the compilation of affirmative poems so as for me not to run out of affirmations whenever I have training sessions.

However, there is this poem I have used a thousand times already that my former students and participants will definitely recall. So, if you were once my student or participant, do you still remember this?

To those who were not, I share this to you. I hope this brings a positive impact on you:

BE THE BEST

If you can’t be a pine on top of the hill,
Be a shrub in the valley.
But be the best little shrub on the side of the valley.
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.

If you can’t be a high way, be a trail.
If you can’t be the sun, be a star.
It isn’t by size that you win or fail,
JUST BE THE BEST OF WHATEVER YOU ARE!

Douglas Mallock

three words

2008-11-08T08:09:00.001+08:00

Here are some three-word phrases that can mend and heal relationships, cement further and/or nurture relationships…

I’LL BE THERE

If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase “I’ll be there.” Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

I MISS YOU

Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthen if couples simply and sincerely said to each other “I miss you.” This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday just to say, “I miss you.”

I RESPECT YOU

Respect is another way of showing love. It conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT

This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to “maybe you’re right” is the humility of admitting, “maybe I’m wrong”. Let’s face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person’s point of view. They, or you will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying “maybe you’re right” can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU

Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating “you can count on me.”

LET ME HELP

The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU

People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know in so many little ways that you understand them is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. This applies to any relationship.

GO FOR IT

We are all unique individuals. Don’t try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how weird they seem to you. Everyone has dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to “go for it”.

I LOVE YOU

Perhaps the most important three words that you can say is “I love you”. Telling someone that you truly love him/her satisfies the person’s deepest emotional needs: the need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your spouse, your children, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words, “I love you”.

(Forwarded by a friend through e-mail)

What can I say?

Words are powerful…
They can lift or ruin a person’s spirit. We know very well that actions speak louder than words, but actions alone are not enough. There is an ingredient missing when thoughts are not put into words. Most of the time there is a need to verbalize whatever we have inside.

Words are comforting…
They can put at ease a grieving heart and pacify a troubled mind. We don’t need to be wordy or poetic, just a sincere thought of simple words can nurse a broken soul.

Words are empowering…
They can propel someone to action. They can even change a person’s outlook in life. Words do make a difference.

Words are inspiring…
They can create a positive feeling, a natural booster and a welcoming atmosphere. Just remember the words your parents and loved ones say to you and you’ll see how their words made you grow and blossom as a person.

just a positive thought

2008-10-31T21:57:00.001+08:00

Surviving in this contemporary world we live in, it is inevitable that from time to time we get exhausted and burnt out because of the many preoccupations we engage in, significant or trivial they may be. So, we find ways to heal our battered spirits and regain our lost energy. Personally speaking, times like these, I resort to a lot of things from sleeping, eating, traveling, writing, sketching, listening to music, watching a feel-good movie to almost anything that I feel like would help me get rid of the sense of being worn out. Some of these are helpful enough, but costly.

Lately, I have tried something that did not even cost a penny. What is that ‘miracle drug’? It is not even a miracle. It is just a simple habit of appreciating things around. Dwelling on the negativism won’t help, so there is no choice but to look at the bright side of life. Be Positive! I know it is a cliché but it works. I know there is an infinite list of things to complain about, but many of them are just a waste of energy. When we get to have a positive attitude and live life simply, then I guess there will be less burden in life, what do you think?

If there is a saying, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, well I have this saying:
An inspiring thought a day keeps negative energy away.

So, let’s all just be simple and positive no matter what. Let’s all live and look well to this day.

Look Well to This Day
Anonymous, 50 B.C.

Look well to this day,
For it and it alone is life.
In its brief course
Lie all the essence of your existence:
The Glory of Growth
The Satisfaction of Achievement
The Splendor of Beauty
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is but a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

on forwarded messages

2008-10-31T01:15:00.000+08:00

For the past years, reading messages has become a part of my morning routine. I open my e-mail account regularly for my ‘inbox’ messages. Also, I have already acquired the habit of constantly checking my mobile phone for whatever ‘messages received’ waiting to be read. Sometimes these actions become automatic and involuntary that I would just notice myself browsing through the many messages I have for the day. Honestly, I take time to read them all, substantial or junk they may seem, because I have this weird yet positive feeling that there must be something nice I will get to find for the day... or maybe, I enjoy the thrill of seeing what’s inside those messages... or just maybe, I have developed this ‘opening the gifts’ syndrome. Whatever my reasons are, I just love reading messages, full stop.

Even forwarded messages I get to appreciate. I should… because I know how people today can be so busy and that we are so much into the ‘instant’ mentality that even messages get to be so less personalized.Thanks or no thanks to Hallmark cards. I have no qualms about forwarded messages. It’s just that my stand is: I don’t like it but I like it. Did I make my point clear enough? I’ll bet, not.

Sometimes I get totally irritated by messages here and there especially when the last line reads:

IF YOU DON’T FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO 200 PERSONS, SOMEONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE!

Grrrrrrr! That really makes my blood boil. Do I need to explain? I respect those believers but it’s really not my cup of tea. So when emails and SMS like these pop in, I just look at the bright side. I try to convince myself (couple of inhales and exhales…) that:

1. I still have friends who remember me.
2. At least, there are people who keep my e-mail address or my phone number.
3. There are friends who try to keep in touch.

Kidding aside, the truth is: I salute and adore my friends who never get tired of sending whatever they have in their inboxes. Why? It is because I’m not the sender kind of guy. I am a disappointment to those who wish to keep the chain messages going because it is certain that whatever you have sent will get stuck. Sorry! I wrote: I just love reading messages.

There are times, there’s a good catch. There are those messages that can be truly moving and inspiring. They make the day light and positive. I do keep and compile them for the reason I know that these messages are worth reading. I don’t appreciate literature just because of its high caliber artistic merit but by the effect it has on me personally. Let me share with you those faves of mine that really struck a chord. Do read…

NINE MOST DIFFICULT SITUATIONS IN LIFE
sent by: I have forgotten.

1. Being questioned when you yourself don’t understand.
2. Pretending to be innocent of what you know about.
3. Trying to forget something you know you never will.
4. Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right.
5. Debating with your self.
6. Accepting the fact that some things are not really meant to be.
7. Trying to understand when you can’t.
8. Realizing that you have been tricked after you have given your whole trust.
9. Parting and letting go of someone you have loved all your life.

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If you have a goal, set a deadline. A goal without a deadline is just wishful thinking. Deadlines turn dreams into goals. This is the scheduling phase of planning.
sent by: tintin.daf

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Sometimes you just have to put a full stopon something that has to end and not just settle on a comma. Why? Because time will come you will realize that it is nicer to see a complete sentence rather than seeing a phrase that’s completely hanging and doesn’t make any sense.
sent by: ellen guerrero

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Every single sunrise brings new chances to grow, new lessons to learn,new places to explore and the promise of a new day that brings you another step closer to your dreams.
sent by: tintin.daf

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The DONTs to REMEMBER
sent by: tintin.daf
1. Don’t wait for time, make it.
2. Don’t wait for love, feel it.
3. Don’t wait for money, earn it.
4. Don’t wait for the path, find it.
sent by: anonymous
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A philosophy professor gave only one question for the final exam. The class was seated when the professor touched his chair and ask, “Using everything we’ve learned this semester, prove that this chair doesn’t exist.”
The whole class answered for an hour but the laziest student finished the test in less than a minute…One week later, the marks were posted in the class and the lazy student got the highest score. His answer consisted of just two words: WHAT CHAIR?
The lesson: Don’t over analyse or complicate things. Simplify and be happy!
sent by: tintin.daf

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The measure of a matured person is not how well he prepares for everything to go right, but how he stands up and moves on after everything goes wrong.
sent by: tintin.daf

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Wheww! It doesn’t stop here. The countless messages seem to go on and on and on and on… Thank you my dear friends for taking time to send them. To others it may be trivial, but for me, it has created a spark in my mind to keep my day just right. A dose of positive message is like a vitamin for the mind and heart.

in a kaleidoscope world

2008-10-27T20:35:00.001+08:00

KALEIDOSCOPE

- a toy consisting of a sealed tube containing small loose pieces of coloured glass and mirrors which reflect these to form changing patterns when the tube is turned.
- a constantly and quickly changing pattern

Source: Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary

what's forever for?

2008-10-27T09:59:00.000+08:00

I was in my usual self one late Sunday morning when something popped into my mind. There was this song I’ve heard from way… way back in the late 90’s. I heard it first from my board mate’s cassette player (that was really like a time space warp experience) and in an instant I fell in love with it. Shuus! I couldn’t figure out the title of the song; the lyrics were quite blurred in my memory. I could only recall fragments of words. Even the name or names of the artists were at the tip of my tongue. I started to feel the OC-OC (obsessive compulsive behaviour) attack.

Then, automatically I googled in the internet for hours just trying to find this song which was bugging my mind (don’t worry, this is not an auditory hallucination and my sanity is still intact). Viola! From Bearshare to You tube, I finally found it: What’s Forever For? It was sung by England Dan and Ford Coley. Whew! That was really from a long time ago. More searches flashed in my computer…

What else is there to know about the song? The song was also popularised by Billy Gilman, a child country singer cum pop star in the 90’s. Only then I knew that the song was the sound track of the movie, Pay It Forward with Billy Joel Osment in the lead role. It is a beautiful movie about a boy who started a network of helping others and the message is very clear that no matter who we are, we can make a difference in this world. Going back to the focus of my attention, I liked both versions of the song (Dan and Coley; B.Gilman). Sadly, I never got to check on who was the original because there was also a Michael Martin version. Olivia Newton John even has her own rendition of the song.

So many artists and it’s just one song. It must be something! And true enough, there is something about the song that can touch the soul. The melody is very simple yet very soothing to the ears. I am certain that many can resonate with the song. The lyrics have a poetic charm. It even reminded me of the last two lines of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 – If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ nor no man ever loved. The message of the song is powerful enough that can trigger a certain nostalgic experience that will bring a feeling of introspection about humanity and its very complex meaning solely based on ‘LOVE IS ETERNAL’ precept . So, breathe in and enjoy the song plus the lyrics…

_____________________________________________________________________________________

What's Forever For

I've been looking at people
And how they change with the times
And lately all I've been seeing are people
Throwing love away and losing their minds

Or maybe it's me that's gone crazy
'Cause I can't understand why
All these people keep hurting each other
When good love is so hard to come by

So what's the glory in living
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

I've been listening to people
And they say love is the key
And it's not my way to let them lead me astray
It's only that I want to believe

But I see love-hungry people
Trying their best to survive
While in their hands is a dying romance
And they're not even trying to keep it alive

So what's the glory in living
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for