HEARING BEYOND WORDS

Here is a quote worth pondering on:

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.
– Peter E. Drucha

I want to rephrase the quote and it goes like this:

It is most important in communication to understand what others are trying to tell us with out them having to say the message right in front of our faces.

Not all people are candid and truthful of whatever they have in their minds. They have their reasons. One of the reasons is the fear of hurting others should they let their true opinions and feelings. So they resort to standard answers and remarks that may somehow put icing on whatever is the truth. Another reason is the lack of interest to argue because it is a part of a normal discourse that when you negate someone then rebuttal follows... and there are just people who are not interested in debating and arguing.Sometimes the reason is just plain: They don't care...

Think of these situations:

The cook asks you how good his food is and honestly you don't like the taste of the food. What would you say? If your answer is, "It's fine"... "It's OK"... "Nice one!" There you have just made a very standard remark.

Standard remarks or reactions that are cliche are most likely given not to hurt the feelings of others. They sound good but they mean nothing.

Another instance, Your friend tells you that he believes in ghosts and ethereal bodies. Deep inside you, you don't believe such things exist. What would you say? If your answer is, "Maybe you're right, maybe there is." Now, you have just neutralise the heat of the argument.

Neutralised remarks could mean that the person is not interested to disagree and just let the other person express his opinions.

Another one is when a friend tells you about her never ending love story which you have heard a thousand times. Then she asks you, "What do you think?" If your reaction is "OK" and you change the topic then more often than not, you are trying to avoid that the story would go further.

Changing the topic while in a conversation clearly points that the person doesn't want to elaborate much and doesn't want to dwell on that. If your friend is sensitive enough then she would sense about your true stand on the situation.

Not everything we hear should be taken literally or as is. There should be a dose of sensitivity inside us that we should get in touch with to learn the art of comprehending the implied messages of other people.