ON BEING LONELY

An ex-student / friend of mine shared a quote he got from a movie and it says,

"So I have this one question,

if we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it one day when we are separated?

And if being separated is a part of life and you know about separation, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?

At the same time, I was also wondering, is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone?

That's my loneliness. I have lived with it now for many years.

I know just how bad loneliness feels, I fear it will continue to get worse.."

- from the movie Love of Siam

Sometimes our fears once we don't face them become so huge and powerful that they can make us feel terrified to take actions and risks. And once fears engulf us, the result is loneliness

... because we missed our chance.

... because we already lost without even giving a fight.

... because we felt inferior, lost and incapacitated.

... because we accepted that we are not worthy.

on closure

A wise man said, “When you come to the last page, close the book.”
- Uncle Wu (character from the movie: Welcome back, Herbie. The Love Bug)

Once you have reached the last page of a book, it is but natural to close it since there is nothing left to read. Literally, that’s how it goes. If it is the end, it is the end.

Sometimes it is true in life. There are things we have to accept that it is really the end and we have to put a closure to it. Otherwise, it will be left hanging in the open.

What needs closure?

1. Past mistakes

I have not seen someone who is totally perfect because we all have flaws. We make mistakes because we are inexperienced, easily moved by our emotions, careless, unprepared and too confident. Then, it’s too late to make things right because the damage is done. If we keep it hanging, we will begin to think we are losers. Sometimes we just have to accept that we can no longer rewind the situation and the best way to end the self pity is to accept the truth that we are not perfect, but we can still make amends for whatever damage we have created. There is a saying, “To err is human… to forgive is divine.”

We should put closure on our past mistakes and accept the lessons learnt.

2. Unhealthy Relationships.

When does a relationship become unhealthy? It is when we are not reciprocated. It is when there are many people getting affected and hurt. It is when we feel that we are stagnant and no longer growing. It is when a relationship brings more pain than joy.

We should put closure on unhealthy relationships and learn to let go.

3. Conflicts

Why is peace difficult to find? It is mainly because we grow pains and anger deep within. We breathe in hatred as part of our existence.Yes, it is difficult not to be angry, but is more difficult to make amends because of pride.If we can only forgive little by little then conflicts will start to diminish and will no longer dwell in our hearts. If only...

We should put closure on conflicts and try to forgive.



I am not a wise man, but this is what I have to say, “Once you close the book, you can either keep it or throw it.”

on remembering...

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
- taken from Veenah's wall in facebook

This is not the first time I have read this quote. But, a friend of mine reminded me of this beautiful statement.

PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID...

As a teacher, this is true that after sometime, my students will no longer remember all those lessons I had with them in the class.
Do you want proof? Think about this:
Nobody will really get a perfect score in an unannounced Final Exam.

And sometimes I myself also forget those that I've mentioned in class.After some years,what is left in me are those kind gestures and pleasant moments I experienced with my students.

PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU DID...

Again, this is true. As a friend, I sometimes feel that there are many people who are suffering from amnesia. They easily forget those things other people have done for them once you have done something wrong.Sometimes it only takes one mistake to erase a hundred good deeds. I am sorry but I want to generalise that most people have a very short memory span.

BUT THEY WILL NEVER FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL...

I think the heart has a bigger storage than the brain. because , it is difficult to forget those who hurt us... it is difficult to forget who made us feel loved... it is difficult to forget those we loved... it is difficult to forget those who made us happy... it is difficult to forget those who made us sad and angry... and the list goes on.

The words and pictures in memory may fade away but the feelings remain. That is why it takes a lifetime to forgive, it takes a lot of effort to let go, it takes a lot of years to heal.